Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Holding Space


This keeps coming up in my life, everywhere I listen, so okay why not. Let's explore this.

From the Elephant Journal article I read today:

While you hold space, you hold your tongue so as not to make light of it.And you hold your hands behind your back so you don’t rush forward and fix it.And you hold your feet down so you don’t march forward, trudging and trampling through it.You hold yourself accountable to witness and silently acknowledge.You sit in the struggle with your child.
You offer your presence and nothing else.
This is what it looks like when you can do nothing for your kid: you hold on to everything.

I am a proponent of Being With my kids, not Doing For. So this excerpt resonates strongly with me. It isn't easy to watch them struggle. To watch them wrestle with disappointment or pain or sadness. But holding space, being present, empathizing, this is what I try to do so that they can practice the struggle knowing I'm there to support them. They are not alone. And they are strong enough, capable enough, to work through it. To struggle and learn. To struggle and expand. To trust themselves through it.

Holding space for myself is something I'm getting better at, since I'm paying more attention lately. And in yoga it certainly comes up a lot. Sthira and Sukha - breathing, opening, lifting - wringing it all out to burn off the stuff I don't want to carry anymore and make space for new. Effort to create ease. Steady to soften. 

I'm learning to make peace, make space, and then hold that space. That's intentional, and it requires devotion. Making space is static. Holding space is active. And space creates potential. Space creates opportunity.

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