Breakthrough

Today was a tough yoga class. For whatever reason Shannon was intent on pushing our limits more than normal - I had to really work to get through it. She was creating an opportunity for breakthrough for each of us. And we did the routine twice on each side - so the second time around we knew what was coming.

Staring down something challenging - something that might even be a little scary - creates the chance for courage and that creates the chance for growth. Doing that thing that I am scared of - pursing my art more significantly for example. That's scary because I am afraid to confirm my fear that I have nothing to say, that my work isn't actually any good.

I thought I was afraid of owning my own business -- and certainly, I'm afraid that consulting will be a series of failures -- but I don't think it's fear getting in the way there. I think I just want other things besides a start-up business. I think I just dont want to throw myself into a business that takes 110% of me when I want to keep enjoying my flexible schedule with my kids. When I want to keep practicing painting. Yoga. Walking my dogs when I feel like it. This freedom that I now have that I am desperate to maintain. I am afraid of losing this freedom. I need my consulting business to do well so I can keep this freedom-filled lifestyle going.

So - I will continue to forge ahead with my new marketing plan. I will work to put myself out there and work to win new business. I will enjoy this amazing summer I have ahead of me with my littles, and look to earn new projects come the fall. I will seek a breakthrough in my lifestyle - one that pushes me out of my comfort zone to bid on projects that stretch my ability and my confidence.