Prepping for Kindness

My parents arrive for the holiday tomorrow. We're all very excited to have them join us, and join in the celebration of Christmas. It wouldn't feel like Christmas without them.

And yet.

There's some pre-game warmups that I am requiring of myself. Because....I have a bad track record. For whatever reason, I get partway into visits with my parents (starts early on Day 3) and my manners start eroding. Tag calls them trip wires. We can't see them, but they're sure as hell there, because I stumble into them. Every. Single. Time.

Why is this???? My absolute intention is to have a great visit. To enjoy the time. To be patient, to be loving, to be a happy hostess. But now I've become gun-shy because I can't seem to avoid the triggers. What are they even? In the Princess Bride, they stumbled on the 3 curses of the Fire Swamp and figured out how to avoid them. What is the popping sound preceding my triggers that I can look for, giving me a chance to remember my mantra [I am loving, calm and relaxed] BEFORE things fall part?  I need a clue.

Gratitude is clearly a strong weapon here. Filled with gratitude, it will be hard for the triggers to break through my happy, gratitude-rich shield. There's plenty to be grateful for - they're my parents for goodness sake. But on Day 3, I need backup.

Leaving the past in the past, and whatever might be lurking in my memory to draw out such poor behavior, such angry feelings toward the aging, eager parents who raised me and are now attentive grandparents, this is something I'm not sure how to do. Because it's nameless, the anger - I don't know what's triggering it. What it's about. How to describe it. So ironically, this stuff I can't name is the stuff that's getting in the way.

I will need an arsenal. Gratitude is the front line. Breathe brings up the rear. And hopefully, God willing, I will be joined on my right and left flank by gentle awareness and forgiveness of whatever starts to charge the field and challenge my peaceful, loving ability to make my parents, my guests, my family, feel welcome and content.

Game on.