My Too Easy

Today is an investment in myself. I'm sitting in a room with amazing professionals at a Gap Executive Mastery class, staring at my interpretations and being called out (gently) for allowing those files to roadblock my progress. They're truths I have been telling myself, but they are not TRUTH.

There are some beliefs that are not serving me well, and I need to assess them and move through them, and complete them.  Move that shit out of the way. It isn't true, it's all fear based.

The woman here coaching our table shared a first impression with me, about me. She said, "I watched you walk across the parking lot, and without knowing who you are at all, I turned and said to Bryan, 'Here's a woman who has the world by the tail.'"

I want to be that woman!

Visionary. Intentional. A little swagger.

My entire career, I was able to advance in responsibility and influence. Then I took a leap and left for a new challenge and two years later I was out of a job. In my head, this meant 1) That my career had been too easy and I actually didn't have the credibility I thought I did, 2) That I was given my career by a large, insulating corporation that compensated for and hid my weaknesses, and 3) That I now had proof that I wasn't good enough after two years of painful fighting in a company that didn't want me on board.

This story that I told myself, my interpretation of the past 20+ years of my career, left me without credibility, expertise, or any value really. Questioning myself at every turn. Imposter syndrome to the Nth degree.

None of that serves me.

Instead, I will choose possibility. I will choose to remember the great relationships, the great launches, the great learning that I have gained in my career. I have a fabulous record, and an even more fabulous network of people who support me and encourage me because they believe in me.  For the two years I took on the challenge that ultimately ended when a new president took the helm of my division, I know I did my best - and dammit if I didn't build a great team, articulate a strong pipeline of product ideas, and install a development lab that everybody told me was impossible to do. In just two years. So yeah, maybe I wasn't selected to continue on in the new organization - but I'm good with that. I would have stayed. I would have continued to suffer through their toxic, non-supportive, back-stabbing culture. I would have. But luckily for me, the universe shoved me out and forced me to find a new path. And I'm super excited about it - because I can see a future full of successes and learning and new partnerships and a life balance that would NEVER have been possible if I hadn't stepped out onto this scary new platform.

Too easy? Nah - I've worked hard to get here. And I had amazing teachers and supporters along the way, and a great team to work beside for so many years. I will not discount my journey. It's still rolling out in front of me, as long as I stop building roadblocks for myself.