Sthira and Sukha

Effort and Ease. Grounding down to float up. This is a concept I don't think I ever really considered until I got serious about yoga (from my teacher @rareformyoga in particular).

My life so far feels like a series of awkward and hard-won assessments. As I approach a critical point and need to make a decision, I rely on a pro-con questioning method and always seem to struggle with, "This is hard, so does it mean I'm supposed to fight harder? Or does it mean it's the wrong direction for me, so stop fighting and turn a different direction?" And that awful tar pit of indecision and hand-wringing that I put myself in makes the decision sooooo mired in over-thinking.

What if I approached it with Sthira and Sukha?

My career transition stuff is full of over-thinking. And it wakes me up at 2am on a regular basis. I am not settled. I do not have a balance of effort and ease in this process. It's all Sthira. And even though it's all going on up in my brain, it isn't mindful. Here's mindful:

Mindfulness noun:  the practice of maintaining a nonjudgemental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis

What's the opposite of mindful?

Near Antonyms of mindfulness disregard, neglect, obliviousness, unawareness

Disregard? Neglect? Yes. Of the balance needed to smoothly advance this career (this LIFE) of mine. I have been herky-jerky throwing punches and running sprints in 5,000 directions, and working "the plan" so hard that I have ZERO Sukha, no ease. And that is not sustainable, nor is it healthy or something to be proud of ("Look how HARD I'm working over here, guys!" Not.).

Soul searching for what I really want - what I want my contribution to be - is a big part of why I'm tackling this 365-day writing challenge. I'm in search of Ease to balance my Effort and feel the momentum (and joy!) of a daily rhythm, a productive tempo, and deeper personal insight.

This week, as I've been anxiously awaiting an approval on a work proposal, I will shift to Ease and softly consider what my Effort needs to be for the next round of possibility. I will work to build a plan, with intention, for the next few weeks, that will allow me some ease. A balance of Sthira to advance my plan, and Sukha to move with the right intention.