This is a lot.
Overwhelmed has a new meaning for me. It's fog and sludge. It's gray matter all smucked and swirled together. I can't seem to pull my mind through this. I'm tired.
When I was little, I loved books, being outside, using my hands, art class and music, dance class, performing in the school play... I created little books all the time, with illustrations. I was great at school. I loved swimming and pretending I was a mermaid or a dolphin. Loved puzzles, but wasn't interested in video games. Wasn't good at athletic games or games of mechanical skill like tennis or pool, but made cool things in wood shop. And I remember being terribly shy.
The books I'm reading tell me to look back at who I was before life got in the way. My purpose is in there somewhere. But what I find my flow in is stuff that I don't believe I can make a life out of - make a career out of. Painting for example; I love it! But, come on. Yoga; I love it! Books and writing; Love! How do I use what I love to turn this career detour (derailment) into something good????
I feel like I'm tumbling, powerless, in the waves. And I'm having trouble connecting outside of myself.
I'm sorry to be so distant. Please be patient with me.
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