What's It For?

I've published 70 posts so far. 19% complete to the goal.

Nobody is reading these. They sit here as a collection of daily thoughts, like a diary.

I haven't missed a day. So this must be important. Something drives me to make the entry every day.

I thought it was time to pause and think about what this is doing. What it's for. Is it meeting expectations? Is there a course correction needed?  My goal is to open up my thinking and spend some healthy time reflecting on who I am, what I'm struggling with, what I want in life, and where I'm going. The intention is to use that opening, that remixing, that airing out of the cluttered space to create opportunity. Clarity. Peacefulness. Calm. A soft blooming effect that will take all the crap that I have built up and carried around and use it to feed the birth of something new. Something full of possibility.

The things I found to be super helpful over the last year - particularly 2018 when my word was Bloom - were as follows:

Yoga. Eating vegetables. Finding and repeating my mantra (I am loving, calm and relaxed). Breathing. Believing. And writing.

I thought this writing journey would create more clarity around what I want to say. What I want to focus on. But I'm still rambling, wandering, meandering around feeling clumsy. No clear message yet.

There's some fear. Some topics that I dare not get too honest about. What if "they" read it? I don't want to upset anyone. And I don't want to put something out there that might damage my future possibility. So there's been some censorship, some cageyness. But not a whole lot. I'm not a closet full of secrets.

So what is this for? It's a commitment, put out there into the clutter of the internet, creating a moment for me, each day, to find my thoughts and drag out the stuff that weighs on me, and revel in the stuff that lifts me up. Nobody's watching or tracking this commitment except me, but there's a record of it. A published record that somehow makes this more real.

294 posts to go...let's see if this road starts leading somewhere.