Miracle of Round Two

Being a mom almost didn't happen. I had this belief that I'd never end up having children of my own. Covered this in an earlier post, so I won't belabor it. But I had a conversation with my hair stylist earlier this week and the immensity of that discussion is just now hitting me.

She is having the same conversation with herself that I had with myself over ten years ago. I was in my early thirties, like her. I was in love with a man who'd already had a "first life," like her. And I was debating what to do about it. Just. Like. Her.

I hope I said the right things. I hadn't had any breakfast, went to an early yoga class, tanked up on a venti latte and rushed to my hair appointment. She probably thought I was on speed. So I might not have been as present as I could have been.

What I hope she took away was that mid-thirties is absolutely an amazing time to have children. That the fear and guilt of "putting him through" another round of littles ended up, for me, being the most incredible miracle ever. That Round Two can be magical.

I was so wracked with fear that my guy would be resentful. That he would always feel the anchor of these kids and what his life could be like if he'd been able to just enjoy the glide of empty nest freedom. Oh my GOD was I afraid.

But he was willing. Carefully and thoughtfully willing. So I went for it. And got nothing but love in MAGNIFIED form.

So she is weighing her future. Her options. She was brave enough to ask. Because asking makes it real. Puts light around it.

If he's the right guy, if he loves her heart and her soul and makes her feel like nobody has ever made her feel before, then she might have a shot at the same miracle that I got.