New Assignment

I love this. Not just because it makes me feel smart to quote Faulkner (is this truly a real quote from him, by the way?) but because it completely makes sense to me, as someone who doesn't like to talk about it - I like (NEED) to take action. I saw it after I attended Carmelo Blandino's incredible painting workshop this past April. Carmelo doesn't coach painting technique so much as a "being philosophy." And painting is far more interesting than trying to "be a painter." Just PAINT. Put paint on your brush, lots of paint, and get in the flow. Get outta your head. Feel. Don't think.  This is what I have been learning all year, with my yoga and with Carmelo's voice in my head, and with the reading I've been doing. I'm too much in my damn head.

But the other side of that, the evil shadow of that, is really bothering me too. If I just FEEL then I am not really my best self. Not the version of myself I want to be. I have some ugly programming that makes me a meany. Short tempered with my children and a jerk to my life partner. So just rolling around in my feelings isn't going to cut it. I need to set intention. Like a big Texas-sized Neon Road Sign: Intention.

I gave myself a challenge after Carmelo's workshop, to paint 10 portraits by September. 10 in-person portraits on a 30 minute time allowance, to force my practice of putting paint on a canvas and hunting for the shadows and just painting. And to force myself to do a hard thing. Now, Tag is prepping 14 frames for the 14 portraits I've done that we will showcase in a mini "gallery opening" in our basement this coming weekend. For the 14 amazing people who were willing to come sit for me in my mini-studio.  So -- as we prep for that -- I can't help thinking, "What now?!?" I need a new project. Must have a new project. I have soooo muuuuch work to do on myself, what should I task myself with as my next challenge in this quest to BLOOM in 2018.

I've decided to take on a writing challenge.

Bloggers like Seth say, "Write every day for 1,000 days."  Because, he adds, the first 1,000 days are the hardest. So, how about....365 days? Let's start there? Like, next year when I look back, and I can say I wrote every day for an entire year, that should push me forward I think. 1,000 days is like almost 3 years. I think even a month would be a stretch for me - but that doesn't give me the Bandha feeling that I think I need to pull off 365 days. I want to feel full-on Maha Bandha for this one.

So this is my assignment: Write in this Blog, this Bloom Quest, every day for the next 365 days, exploring the topics that eat away at my mind and my intention, and see if I can't evolve in a forward direction by this time next year. November 5th 2019.  Here we go...