Elf on a Frigging Shelf

I walked into my son's preschool today to find the teacher busy hunting for a spot to place an Elf. She was excited. Full of energy about this task. I asked her, "What is the Elf going to do in your classroom?" and she said, not kidding, "He's going to report back to Santa on how their behaving!"

This is effed up.

First of all, it's like inviting a spy into a safe space. * Careful! Somebody is watching your every move and if you screw up you will get on the Naughty List! *

They don't need a spy. They need a compassionate safe zone where when they do great things it's because they're great little people. And when they don't do great things, it's because they're great little people learning how to manage their humanness.

I swear, since putting my kids into public school and a traditional American preschool, there have been more controlling measures placed on my lovelies than I can hardly stomach. And it's so accepted and "normal" and everyone just goes along like it's okay.  We are constraining the shit out of our kids. No wonder they're stressed out.  Either they're stressed out, or they just give up and go with the flow, turning their brain off because that makes life easier.  Line up on the line. No talking. No questions. Hands to yourself. Listen to me. Be quiet. Stop moving. Time's up. Sit here. Earn points. Lose points. Do what I say. Stop asking questions.

OMG!!!!!  I walked in the other day and heard a teacher/counselor shaming an entire small group of children because, "You need to get it together! The other class lined up way better than you guys and they're younger than you!"  I don't think they even know what they're saying. They don't put themselves in the shoes of these children. They have little if any empathy -- they are too busy trying to control everything.  And that's frustrating because, Good Luck! These are active, curious little beings who are always sponging up everything around them and they need to move to think, they need to touch to focus, need to experiment to learn.

We are broken in the way we teach, forcing standardized testing, standard measurements for funding, and this cold, accounting approach to education is losing the children in the process. We are broken in the way we parent, stealing joy with every "good job!" and "gold star!" and destroying self esteem with every "shame on you!" and "I am so disappointed." We have forgotten what it's like to be kids.  We're not doing a better job than our parents. I think every parent should have an Elf assigned, marking us up every time we forget to be compassionate to our children.