It occurs to me that the project work I'm doing right now feels more like a way to extend my current lifestyle (which is, honestly, a refreshingly casual one), rather than a path to financial stability. It fills the large gaps. You could say it's enabling me to remain in career limbo.
The odd thing is, I think I'm okay with that. At least while the gaps are filling. Being financially strapped is NOT the plan I had for my mid-career self. In fact, I was thinking I had momentum. I was feeling my oats and really believing that I was an up-and-comer. So if/when the gap gets bigger, and I'm not seeing a magical way to fill it, there's gonna be a problem.
The thing I really know about myself right now is that I love being here, home, around my kids, watering my plants, feeding my dogs, all that. If I could have this and send my kids back to their school and know that this is my new norm, I would be content. At least for now. While I sort out what my next Big Thing is.
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